Why people have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded subject that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on ever since old ages. Affairs can be loaded with troubles, cause heartache, and other troubles. In addition you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, funds, age difference, faith upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, married man date.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking affair. I am conserned generally though it is just the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us escape the real world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to turn the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos people has erected against affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but society also. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your spouse or anybody else? You will need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major cluster, enormous in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to consider. Your finances are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Avoidance, sadly this is a frequent groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the husband is sexually neglecting his woman for a tones of reasons. As a male I actually appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them available to us males of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be compassion is gone, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just grown separately, our general concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.